Tales From The Lions' Den, Volume 3
Intimacy with God or Experiencing His Presence
Intimacy with God or Experiencing His Presence
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I have previously written about being baptized in the Holy Spirit, twice; about how I was
unable to receive it the first time because of my ignorance or disbelief of the
Scriptures, thinking I had begun to lose my mind. And I wrote about later receiving the
baptism in the Holy Spirit when I was alone in a jail cell even though I committed no
crime. Today I will continue telling about that event, which happened in February, 2000
as it pertains to intensely and intimately experiencing the Presence of God.
As I have said, I was alone in a Parke County Jail cell, feeling misunderstood, betrayed
and abandoned, and seeking the comfort of my Savior Who promised He would never
leave us nor forsake us. I had spent four months in the jail; and to the extent possible,
I had been intently studying the Scriptures in the light of teaching I received on early
morning television while most of the prisoners were quiet and still asleep. On this
night, I was reading a prayer written by Kenneth & Gloria Copeland entitled Prayer for
Salvation and Baptism in the Holy Spirit. I was reading it aloud to myself. And I came to
the part where it says: “…Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to
speak with other tongues as You give me the utterance…” However I did not
complete these words in English! At some point I began to speak out this prayer with
words I could not recognize with my mind, except that this time I was able to receive
and accept the fact that my spirit was now using my voice rather than my mind using it
as it had my whole life! And my spirit had much to say, ‘cause I continued to pour
myself out with words my mind did not know for an hour or two. I knelt down on the
concrete floor for a long time. When my knees began to notice pain, I sat cross-legged
on the floor. And I remember lying on my face before God part of that time. Tears
flowed from my eyes and ran off my cheeks for most if not all that time. But now let me
try to describe what I was feeling during those hours:
I could feel the glory of God surrounding me and touching me. It felt more wonderful
than a light, soft, warm, perfectly-fitting pair of gloves feels on the hands on a chilly
day. I could see, with my spiritual and not my physical eyes, that the brilliant but
comfortable light of God had filled the room; there were no secrets hiding here. I felt
the love of God filling me the way a warm liquid feels as it goes down into the stomach
on a cold day, except I could feel that flow from everywhere around me filling every
space within me. And I could hear my heavenly Father and my Savior, the Lord Jesus
Christ saying “I am indeed here with you.” And “I am well-pleased with you.” And, at
some point near the end of this visitation, “You are my fellow servant.” These words
made me feel extremely unworthy and yet richly blessed, both at the same time. And I
couldn’t believe my ears when I spoke boldly to Jesus, “Lord, I’ll have to see that I
have the right to be called your fellow servant in the Scriptures.” And I sensed that He
was smiling at me because of my words. That is the last thing I remember clearly
before the intensity subsided. And, by-the-way, in the days following the visitation, I
did find His words confirmed in the New Covenant.
The LORD has visited me several times since that night in special and intimate
conversations. He has told me new things and has called me by new names. “Times of
refreshing” come to me as often as I will now, especially when I do not know how I
should pray or worship properly. I simply enter His Presence with an expectant spirit,
more often than not speaking out in the spiritual words His Spirit gives me to speak. I
am no longer amazed by the fact that His throne of grace is near me, wherever I
happen to be. I now enter boldly, still feeling that mix of unworthiness and
blessedness. And this experience of God’s Presence is promised to whosoever will.
unable to receive it the first time because of my ignorance or disbelief of the
Scriptures, thinking I had begun to lose my mind. And I wrote about later receiving the
baptism in the Holy Spirit when I was alone in a jail cell even though I committed no
crime. Today I will continue telling about that event, which happened in February, 2000
as it pertains to intensely and intimately experiencing the Presence of God.
As I have said, I was alone in a Parke County Jail cell, feeling misunderstood, betrayed
and abandoned, and seeking the comfort of my Savior Who promised He would never
leave us nor forsake us. I had spent four months in the jail; and to the extent possible,
I had been intently studying the Scriptures in the light of teaching I received on early
morning television while most of the prisoners were quiet and still asleep. On this
night, I was reading a prayer written by Kenneth & Gloria Copeland entitled Prayer for
Salvation and Baptism in the Holy Spirit. I was reading it aloud to myself. And I came to
the part where it says: “…Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to
speak with other tongues as You give me the utterance…” However I did not
complete these words in English! At some point I began to speak out this prayer with
words I could not recognize with my mind, except that this time I was able to receive
and accept the fact that my spirit was now using my voice rather than my mind using it
as it had my whole life! And my spirit had much to say, ‘cause I continued to pour
myself out with words my mind did not know for an hour or two. I knelt down on the
concrete floor for a long time. When my knees began to notice pain, I sat cross-legged
on the floor. And I remember lying on my face before God part of that time. Tears
flowed from my eyes and ran off my cheeks for most if not all that time. But now let me
try to describe what I was feeling during those hours:
I could feel the glory of God surrounding me and touching me. It felt more wonderful
than a light, soft, warm, perfectly-fitting pair of gloves feels on the hands on a chilly
day. I could see, with my spiritual and not my physical eyes, that the brilliant but
comfortable light of God had filled the room; there were no secrets hiding here. I felt
the love of God filling me the way a warm liquid feels as it goes down into the stomach
on a cold day, except I could feel that flow from everywhere around me filling every
space within me. And I could hear my heavenly Father and my Savior, the Lord Jesus
Christ saying “I am indeed here with you.” And “I am well-pleased with you.” And, at
some point near the end of this visitation, “You are my fellow servant.” These words
made me feel extremely unworthy and yet richly blessed, both at the same time. And I
couldn’t believe my ears when I spoke boldly to Jesus, “Lord, I’ll have to see that I
have the right to be called your fellow servant in the Scriptures.” And I sensed that He
was smiling at me because of my words. That is the last thing I remember clearly
before the intensity subsided. And, by-the-way, in the days following the visitation, I
did find His words confirmed in the New Covenant.
The LORD has visited me several times since that night in special and intimate
conversations. He has told me new things and has called me by new names. “Times of
refreshing” come to me as often as I will now, especially when I do not know how I
should pray or worship properly. I simply enter His Presence with an expectant spirit,
more often than not speaking out in the spiritual words His Spirit gives me to speak. I
am no longer amazed by the fact that His throne of grace is near me, wherever I
happen to be. I now enter boldly, still feeling that mix of unworthiness and
blessedness. And this experience of God’s Presence is promised to whosoever will.